Whose Feelings Are You Saving?
Aug 28, 2026
Saving someone's feelings.
The leader with a people pleaser character withholds uncomfortable truths from staff.
It is dressed as kindness. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Look closer. The feelings being saved are not the staff member's. Withholding protects the leader from the guilt that would rise if they said what needs to be said.
Guilt installed in childhood, by a controlling authority figure who taught them they were bad for honouring their own needs, standards and desires.
The character learned: honesty costs love. So the truth stays unsaid, the standard slips, and the business pays for a lesson taught forty years ago.
Whose feelings are you saving?
Perry
